When I moved to Juneau I started hearing a weekly feature on public radio by an agricultural
extension agent. An agricultural extension service in Juneau? We have no agriculture! But we do have landscaping and a lot of
small gardens. The feature starts with a song that reminds me of Dad.
Inch by
inch and a row by row.
We’re gonna
make this garden grow.
All it
takes is a rake and a hoe
and a piece
of fertile ground.
Morning
frost still comes I know,
but
blessing keep these seeds I sow.
Let them
linger safe below
until warm
rains come tumbling down.
The song is more than just a reminder of Dad’s giant garden
in Lansing. It’s a metaphor for his hopeful diligent way of living. Ham Miller
is not in a happier place. He was happy when he lived here with us. Sure, he
got impatient and worked up from time to time. But he could lift the mood of
twenty people in a room any time he wanted. He thrived on lifting our spirits.
Dad didn’t
need wealth and expensive things to be happy. He worked gently to create happiness.
I remember when he went to Isle Royal National Park with us on a backpacking
trip. One night it rained hard for a long time. We were in the middle of
nowhere. A bone numbing 40° temperature greeted us at dawn. We were a dozen
high school boys in a foul mood, lying in our wet sleeping bags shivering and
complaining. That morning would have been the most miserable event on the trip.
Dad turned it into the best morning of the trip.
“Everybody up” he said with a grin. “We have work to do. Run,
don’t walk. Get moving.” It worked. He turned our misery into a competition with
half-dressed kids trying to fetch the close-by wood for a bonfire. We started
laughing at the absurdity as we sprinted farther out in the forest looking for
scraps of wood to burn. We tried to outdo each other by bringing in the biggest
logs we could carry. Dad lit the fire and we gathered around to warm up. He
didn’t let us stay long.
“Go down to the lake” he said. “Catch some perch for
breakfast.” So away we went with our fishing poles. When we got back with the
perch we were so hungry and impatient that we didn’t wait until they were fully
cooked. I remember eating raw perch and thinking that it tasted better than shrimp.
When we shouldered our packs and walked away later that
morning through forests devoid of firewood, Dad said “next winter a wolf will trot
across that fire site and jump in surprise when he steps on the hot rocks.”
My brother Chuck mentioned last night that Dad had some
flaws. For example, once while pheasant hunting a deer stood up in the tall
grass near Dad. It was not deer season at the time but he couldn’t resist. We
had birdshot in our venison that year.
Dad didn’t mind getting teased about his eccentricity. During
spring cleaning he would wash the walls and ceiling with a floor mop. He tried anti-itch
cream as a mustard stain remover. Once, somebody noticed him smearing
preparation H in his nostrils. Maybe that’s what did him in.
And there was the trip to Chippewa Lake, with the car full of
kids, where Dad stopped in Ionia to get ice cream cones. He asked everybody
what flavor they wanted. Some wanted chocolate, some strawberry, others the chocolate-vanilla
swirl combination. Also, there were requests for the ice cream dipped in chocolate.
Dad went into the store and when he returned he was carrying a box with eight vanilla
ice cream cones. After that one of us took the ice cream order.
Leaving church on Sundays at Saint Therese Church Dad would
often procrastinate in the parking lot. He would say “we are going to be the
last ones out of the lot” this morning. And that is exactly what he did.
When we got home he would often make garbage for breakfast.
He’d take a dozen eggs and crack them into the skillet. Then he would go to the
refrigerator and start chopping up everything that was left over from other
meals. There would be hot dogs, potatoes, carrots, peas… you get the picture.
More recently, Mom says Ham got inspired by cooking shows.
She had to tell him to stop putting vinegar in everything she was cooking. One
morning Lucie Salyer was watching Dad move around the kitchen. He put rhubarb
cake in a bowl. He added milk, orange juice, red wine to the rhubarb cake and sprinkled
on some grated cheddar cheese. Then it was warmed up in the microwave and he
ate it for breakfast.
When there was an important sporting event Dad would get
uptight. I am ashamed to say he sometimes bet against the Spartans! I would bet 25¢ on the Tigers if he
wanted to bet on Boston. That way we could both feel good whatever the outcome.
One time in the late 60’s Linda’s friends left a pack of cigarettes
in the car. When Dad found them he
called all the kids over and said “let’s have a smoke”. We started smoking and
coughing and turning green. He told us that we could smoke anytime we wanted as
long as we smoked with him. He would give us the cigarettes and he would light
them for us. My sister Kay missed that lesson. Other than her, none of us ever
smoked cigarettes or used tobacco products.
As we were growing up the haircut styles were changing. Dad
was our barber. At first he just buzzed our hair, but then we talked him into
putting his hand on top of our heads and cutting everything that stuck up
between his fingers. We had a neighbor, Mr. Alexander, who taught art classes
at MSU. His son Stewart had long beautiful hair. One time after we got our
round of haircuts Dad called Stewart over to see what would happen. Stewart sat
down so he got the same buzz cut as the Miller boys.
Dad always wanted to show us interesting things. If there
were baby animals on his construction site he would bring them home. Once a
wild rabbit fell into a hole. It couldn’t get out. Did put it in a box, brought
it home and released it in the basement. Weeks afterward we were still looking
for that rabbit. One night we found it when it kicked over a jar of canned
tomatoes way up on the top shelf where it had been hiding in a quiet corner.
Another time there were bats at a job site. It’s not often
you get to handle bats so Ham put on leather gloves and stuffed a couple into a
paper bag. He was driving home on the freeway when one of the bats chewed its
way to freedom. Imagine the scene! Dad is driving down the road through traffic
with five bats circling his head in the car. He said he opened the window and
kept going
I’ll tell you one of his favorite stories: I was driving down
a country road last night and ran over a cat. I stopped to see if there was
anything I could do but the cat was dead. I walked up to a nearby farmhouse. A
lady came out because she saw the car stopped in the road. I told her that I may
have killed her cat. She asked me what does the cat look like? (Make gestures
like a smashed dead cat with eyes closed and tongue sticking out). She said no,
what did the cat look like before you hit it? (Make extremely panicked face with
extended claws and buggy eyes.)
Every morning in recent years Dad did the word jumble.
Perhaps you’ve seen the word jumble in the morning paper. His day couldn’t
start until the word jumble was complete so we would pitch in. Mom sometimes
complained but she usually helped too.
Ham had an instant connection with little kids. His
interactions were often mini-lessons on how to live and how to have fun. My
uncle Bernie told us last night about meeting Dad when Mom and Dad were dating.
He described Ham as instant intense fun.
When we were in school Dad would frequently ask at dinner
time what we had learned that day. Dad’s little quiz made us keep score on what
we had learned.
Some of
dad’s favorite sayings:
- I try to be
right at least half the time.
- Do
something even if it’s wrong.
- Stay single
and raise your kids the same way too.
Dad was a
WWII Navy veteran. He played tennis, bocce, shuffle board and softball after he
retired. Earlier in life he was a top high school athlete and then a professional
baseball player. He was a “natural” at every sport.
My uncle Frank mentioned last night that they taught
themselves how to ice skate. My dad was an ice skating fiend. He introduced us
to a great ice skating game called “I got it”. He would shout “I got it”. Then,
everybody would chase him. Whoever touched him would say I got it, and then
everybody would chase that person. Dad “had it” most of the time. He was pretty
much uncatchable even for the big kids. Later, when I was in college I came home
and needed some ice skates. I
borrowed Dad’s old skates. They really sucked. I can’t believe he could skate
that well with terrible skates.
I’m going
to sit down now but before ago I want some audience participation. Rowdy
please. You can stop when Father Charlie waves his arms to make you stop. But
keep on going for a while, even then. Ham used to have late night parties with
little kids starting with a 60s style demonstration. Here’s how it went:
Quietly: “raisins
and prunes”
Louder: “raisins and prunes”
Shouting: “raisins
and prunes”
Waiving arms marching and
chanting: “raisins and prunes! raisins and prunes”!
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